Wednesday, February 14, 2007

and the night. is yours alone.




YOU




Things which are not very pleasant have been happening for quite a bit these past few days. You know, I would like to pose this question to Fate, if she exists. It must be a She because who else could be so fickle, so spiteful?

Why is it the things that you really really want, you never get?
But the things you pray to never happen to you, go ahead and happen to you?




DON'T




Fate can be so charitable in some areas of my life but then it just likes messing around with my head in others. Is that what you call duplicity then? Its duplicity is within its duplicity. Deception, and not just, but twofold deception.
Hi God, I don't mean to be blasphemous, maybe Fate is You. Could be. Then I say, God might be a girl!

I meant every word of what I said actually. Every letter was typed in full lucidity. They were just waiting for the right amount of anguish to force them out of their state of suspended animation. I never let you actually see it, and yet you (without seeing, and without me noticing) picked out all the screws, and the bolts and the cogs. It's what they call a blind inspection. You probably don't know you've done it. Only in that fleeting moment. Then when you stopped I tried to reassemble it but then I found that it didn't quite tick the same anymore.




KNOW




I have double standards. It's alright for me, but it's not okay when they feel it, and I do feel kind of sorry for them but repulsed at the same time; kind of like when you look in the mirror and your own image seems to drift in and out of normalcy mirrorsMirrors and because there is another one behind me, so what I see reflected in you, you see reflected in someone else and it goes on and on and on see they go on endlessly like many many doors I wish I could jump right in and open one of them. I am, also, a little sorry for myself.

But it's not for me to decide, is it? You see, I know the all-too familiar signs, and yet am helpless spectator in their careless and eventual unfolding.

The curse of symmetry? I see us like strands in a rope. Frayed.

- v-day. lucky you
by @ 3:29 PM