Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Lying is a form of deception, but not all forms of deception are lies.
Can not telling someone something be a lie? If you wanted to save yourself and that fragile, moth-winged thing you don't know what to call? And if you held it closer and closer but felt it get further and further. And if it fluttered to you looking for something you selfishly didn't want to give but gave anyway...
If only they could watch that scene at the movies, Made-For-Silver-Screen. (They would have been on the edge of their seat, breath screeching to a halt mid-trachea, hearts slowly dissolving.) As the scene unfurls, they realise (tragically) that the protagonist is only there as a Tool. But then aha, didn't they expect it already? Read the synopsis, they did. And then all turn to their left to say
I knew this would happen and deliver various other predictions. But no one listens - only keeping perpetual vigil, waiting for their turn.
Would it then be better to deceive yourself?
I suppose it's a good and bad thing if you can't have a rock-bottom, then you could Fall Endlessly or maybe it's like an asypmtote so no matter how far down you go you'll never reach it. Rock bottom or rockbottom. bottombottombottom.
Buttocks made of stone.
?
Maybe I should have asked for those instead of telling Him to turn me into this (Come, let me be your hands, your ears, your mouth, your shoulder. Fool.), because I wanted to be selfless? because it was right because I should sacrifice something for a nobler cause because I wanted to be good or have an excuse to be right, to be Used.
Then she asks if love really is a mutuality of affection or, as some masochists would suggest, its martyrdom?
I don't want to help you. Doing that would only mean self-ruination. HAH BUT I REVEL IN THIS MUTILATION OF EMOTION MENTION EMOTION! But it's too complicated for me.
The writer in repose.
- Use Me.
by @ 10:27 AM