Thursday, February 01, 2007
So, apparently I can't access my own blog ): Well, anyone who's reading it now can read it for me, and I don't really need to access it anyway because I know what I wrote bleah what am I talking about I'm not thinking straight. Today I don't know why I was feeling so awful during training, and I really let what Coach said get to me. And I didn't really perform well at all. And you know what? It's not that I believe him, and I know I can't control how he thinks but I still feel lousy anyway. I know everyone's going to be like, why so sensitive? and I know lots of people can laugh and brush it off so easily but I am TRYING TO but he keeps on and on and it's just difficult. I'm trying. I don't believe all that stuff that he says about my throw being horrible and stuff because I know that when I'm focused and at my best, it is Pretty Good. I wanted to put a 'Damn' in the middle, but that would be too arrogant and complacent, which I don't want to be! I definitely feel pressure when he's around, and I felt that I performed better that day when Coach Lee gave us grounders. Sometimes I find myself wondering whether I would be performing much better than I am now if I had a different coach, but it's not because I think Coach is a lousy coach or anything. It's just that maybe a different coaching style could help me do better, and maybe I wouldn't feel so down when he's saying all that stuff. I just find it a bit hard to focus when he's saying things like what's wrong with me and talking about how other people will replace me etc. I know that he doesn't really mean most of the stuff he says, but it styill makes it hard to focus. Damn. I'm much better at handling that kind of thing now though! Last time in sec two I was slumping so bad because I couldn't take it.- he likes fishing but he doesn't like to eat fish.
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