Tuesday, October 17, 2006

After a string of very very disappointing results, I finally got my redemption. Well, 上帝有眼. I wasn't actually expecting to do THAT well, and actually I don't think ANYONE expected me to do that well, least of all Lily JJ. Pipping the people who are usually way better than me feels kind of kind of surreal actually. Haha.

It doesn't feel right to be blogging right now! I have so many issues. And they're not bimonthly or weekly or daily. GRAH they're minute-ly, second-ly(sounds funny), millisecond-ly and irritating. I wish I didn't think like that lah, but I can't help it. I mean, to be completely honest (and this probably doesn't come as much of a surprise) I'm not happy about not being comfortable around certain people and doing certain things that MOST people are comfortable with. In fact, I think it's probably me and not them me and not them me and not them. I'm not thie kind who does the I-Have-An-Attitude-Problem-So-Deal-With-It, and I CANNOT STAND people who do that. I don't think it's excusable to expect people to accept your "style"/"personality" (or lack thereof, for that matter) if it's not right. You know what I mean by right. It's like being a bitch or being an irritating asshole - it's not right. HAHA. I mean, they say you should forgive assholes for being assholes, and personally I have no problem with actually doing that, but I simply CANNOT stand assholes who KNOW they're assholes, and claim that it's their "style". And that anyone who doesn't like it and refuses to associate with her because if it is guilty of discrimination. Or at least, that's how they make it sound. Alright, so with that little digression, I admit that I DO sometimes exhibit antisocial tendencies. Now, I know a lot of people have a misconception of what antisocial is. To clarify, being antisocial doesn't exclusively mean being a recluse or not talking to anyone or (HAHA) being a mugger. Yeah that's ONE of the symptoms, but being antagonistic would fall under the category of antisocial as well. to put it more specifically:

an·ti·so·cial (ăn'tē-sō'shəl, ăn'tī-)
adj.

Behaving in a manner that violates the social or legal norms of society.

I'm not like that extremely. However, I think we can come to a general consensus that I am wholly capable of being like that. OKAY MAN SO SOMETIMES I JUST DON'T CLICK WITH NASTY PEOPLE OR EVEN NICE PEOPLE. I think it's getting slightly uncomfortable, but I could probably ignore it, being the escapist that I am. This is a hard habit to shakeshakeshake. Go away.

Like I said, it doesn't feel right for me to be blogging. I think I'm feeling too needy and wanty and selfish and unreasonable. but WHY CAN'T I FEEL THAT WAY? I WANT TO! YOU CAN'T STOP ME! READ ME A BEDTIME STORY! STAY, TALK TO ME.

- kicking up a fuss.
by @ 9:59 PM